|Creator||Vickers, Mary Ann Tabitha Dickey|
|Title||Journal for 1868, A|
|Scope & Content||
Document. Diary or Journal kept by Mary A. T. Dickey while at Andrews Female Academy in Cuthbert, Ga. 1868. Miss Dickey later married a Mr. Vickers, and moved to the Lake Bistineau Area. She is buried in Bossier Parish.
Diary Transcription of Mary A. T. Dickey
Diary for the year of our Lord, 1871. January 1st
New Year Day! The old year is past and gone, the new year is already ushered in. The sorrows and hopes of the old are past, those of the new begun. Thanks be unto the Giver of all good, for preserving my unprofitable life for more than twenty years. I have not deserved this good at His hands, but His abundant mercy has granted it. I sat up till past twelve, to watch the old year die out, and greet the new coming. I had read Chapters 2nd Corinthians, all in the house had retired to rest but me and when the knell of time struck twelve, I knelt in prayer to the great news, thanking Him for His kind providence, seeking forgiveness for my sins, and praying His blessing upon all creatures. "Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for wonderful works to the children of men!" I retired to rest and awoke to hail the bright Sabbath morning. The glorious sun shone in resplendence and beauty. How thankful should we be for such created good. After morning devotions and my toilet completed, I read from the sacred Volume 40th, 41st, and 42nd Psalms. After breakfast 12th Eccle. And then began anew the Old and New Testaments. During Sabbath read first seven chapters in Genesis, and first seven in Saint Matthew, attending to regular devotions after each reading. Read also some in Advocate and a "Lamp to the Path on Religion in the Heart, the Home and the Marketplace." "Welcome sweet day of rest, that saw the Lord arise;" may my Sabbath ever be blessed to my soul, and may I keep them holy unto the Lord.
Jan. 2nd A lovely day dawned upon the earth. I arose earlier than usual, prepared my toilet, attended to morning devotions, and read three Chps. Gen. After morning supplications, company arrived. Worked on sewing. Made some arrangements about my school and decided to commence it Monday next Jan. 9th. After dining and company left, read three Chaps. Gen. and supplications followed. Sang little William to sleep after supper. Engaged in conversation with the children about missionaries, and with Mama about the Confederate man. Prepared for retiring about nine. Read over Chp. Matthew, performed evening devotions and retired to rest. May our Heavenly Father send a guardian angel to watch over our repose, and ward off all dangers till morning light appear.
Jan 3rd Cloudy weather. Arose early. Prepared for breakfast read three Chaps Gen. attended to devotion, supplication, three Chaps. Gen at noon and prayers. Read on Chp. Matthew at night, evening devotions. The sun out and we had a pleasant day.
Jan. 4th Attended to regular morning duties. Devotions and read three chp in Gen. before breakfast. Pretty sunshiny day. God ever remembers his creatures to bless them. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Three Chp. Gen at noon, supplications. Had company during day. Oh! May the Lord enable me even to restrain my passions and appetites and not to countenance sin any form. Lord, give they unworthy servant a clear heart and a right spirit, with pure affections and intentions. Help to perform my duties faithfully at all times, and may I never be ashamed to acknowledge the cause of Him who was not ashamed to bear the cross and shame for my sins. May I judge no one rashly, not slander the name of a single person.. One Chp. In St. Matthew at night, and evening offering before retiring.
Jan. 5th Cloudy this morning. Attended to reading and prayers, three Chp. Gen. after breakfast. Alternately sun shining cloudy and drizzly. Be the weather bright or gloomy, cold or mild, if Jesus is with me I am happy. We should never murmur against God and his providence, for he just and kind and good. May the Father assist me to conquer an evil spirit. Glory to his Holy Name tonight, for the comforts of another day.
"The day is past and gone,
The evening shades appear.
O may we all remember well
The night of death draws near.
Read in Gen. morning and noon, and Matthew at night. Devotions and supplications.
Jan. 6th Friday. Morning devotions. Three Chp. Gen. I feel it my duty this first Friday of the New Year as fast day, preparatory to first sermon to be heard at our church by our preacher, and also before I begin my school Monday and future duties. Morning cloudy and very fogy. Cloud and threatening rain during the day. Our new preacher Rev. C. E. Brown took dinner with us. Pleased with him so far. May he prove an instrument of great good in our community. Read 3 Chp. In Gen. and three in Matthew in morning, three in Gen. one in Matthew at noon, supplications. One Chp Ge. At night and evening devotions. Retired.
Jan. 7th Lovely sunshiny morning but the weather cold. Morning devotions and reading 3 Chp. In Gen. before breakfast, supplications, preparatory to days duties. Mama went away and left me in charge of housekeeping. May the blessed Lord forgive all my black sins, wash me in Jesus precious blood, give me a pure heart, strength for my duties on earth, and prepare my soul for a bright mansion in Heaven. "Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." Oh! That sinners would repent and find out for themselves how true and how sweet is our holy religion. Mr. Wm. P. Brown otherwise clever but now a drunkard, called a short time. Oh! That this tide of intemperance were swept away and swallowed in oblivion.. There would be less degradation in society, more happy families and far more piety and happiness enjoyed. May God snatch the intemperate as a "brand from the burning." Cold weather again this evening. How thankful should we be for comfortable homes and pleasant firesides; for food and raiment and nice warm places of repose. May the poor widow and orphan find shelter from the cold wintry winds. Read three Chp. In Gen. at noon. Devotions. Feeling free and happy during the day. Lord give me more grace to sustain me through life's trials and patience to subdue my evil passions. Prepared for holy Sabbath which I hope shall be a sweet day of profit and rest unto my immortal. One Chp. St. Matthew evening devotions.
Jan. 8th Holy Sabbath. Morning devotions 5 Chp. Gen. and 2 in Matthew. Attended preaching at our church dear old Bethphage. Heard a sweet, good sermon by young preacher Chas. E. Brown. Text St. Luke Chp 13 6 & 9 verses inclusive. A parable is similitude taken from natural thing to explain things which are spiritual. The parable in the text is taken from something common of which men of every nation know something, that is husbandry. The fig tree was planted not as a shade tree but to bear fruit. So God does not intend for any of His rational creatures to remain a blank. Each one was made for a purpose. The tree did not spring from chance, but it was planted, so man was created and did not proceed from the power of mere chance. Each human being emanates from the Divine; each immortal soul from the great Soul, God. The purpose for whom man was created, is God's glory. Man's happiness and the glory of God are contingent upon each other. He spoke also of the parable of the talents, in which the man with him and the one with two improved that which was given them but the with one hid it in the ground because he thought hi Lord a hard master. The preacher said much should be expected of those who enjoyed so great privileges as we for the American people have enlightenments and privileges above most nations. We are surrounded with numerous volumes of the Sacred Word, and have been living where we could attend the preaching of God's Holy Word nearly every Sabbath. He alluded to China which contains of inhabitant who have never had a single blessed privilege of religion. There is a time even in this life beyond which man cannot pass. Millions who commenced the past year with us bright hopes and prospects as we, have been called to die, and before this year closes there may be a new made grave for some of us. Its shadow may rest on some of our graves. The mandate may already have gone forth to cut down the barren tree because it cumbereth the ground. Our lives have been spared through many years, and no doubt the Savour has cried at the beginning of each, spare him until I send my spirit, my preached word on some instrumentality for his salvation. It is the Saviour who cries, "spare the barren tree. As the fig tree was cut down to prevent it effecting the other trees, so it is best to remove the worthless man. Religion is not calculated to make our pleasure less, and to cause a long face, as some vainly say, who are given over to believe a lie and be damned. The people of God are the happiest on earth when I full discharge of duty. It is dreadful to think of a soul for whom Jesus has died, dying the death that never dies. When God withdraws His Spirit from man, he is left to wander on in darkness, without a single ray to cheer him on his way. When a man is converted the effect is felt in his family and in his community. There is soberness, quiet and peace. The Church is effected by it, for she is made to rejoice in the increase of her numbers, and he is effected more particularly, for it is his personal salvation. This is the sense, though in different words, as far as I can remember of the sweet sermon which impressed me with its truthfulness and earnestness; and I hope through God's blessing shall be profitable to me as well as the whole congregation. May the Gracious Lord bless our dear young minister in all his labors and may this prove a year of great blessings to our neighborhood in the revival of all the church members and the conversion of all these precious souls who are not yet saved. Oh! Merciful God spare them that they may repent. Three Chp St. Matthew at noon, prayer and singing God's praise. Read some in the Advocate, at night in Mat.
Jan. 9th Arose very early, performed toilet, morning devotions before breakfast. Three Chps. Ex. Before starting to school, which I commenced today, opening and closing with prayer and reading New Testament. Read two Chp Mat at noon and prayed in private. The scholars did very well. May the dear Lord be my guide and shield and help my school to the good of all concerned. I will read about my Saviour tonight before retiring call upon the name of God in devotion.
Jan 10th Bright day, cold morning, pleasant afternoon. Arose quite early. Morning devotions. Reading four Chp in Ex. Prepared for school. Opened with Bible reading and prayer. Children did very well today. It requires great patience for a teacher to perform her duty aright. Help me kind Father even to be the patient and gentle to those with whom I have to do. On Chp. Matt. At noon, prayer. Feeling unwell physically, but happy in the love God. "Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." I intend reading my chapter and praying before I retire.
Jan. 11th Bright morning. Thanks to God for the morning light and bright sun. He it is who gives us all things good to enjoy. May the ungrateful learn gratitude to Him. Read in Ex. Before breakfast, devotions. Taught school. A lovely day. Read in Mat at noon, supplications. Had some trial of my patience. The dear Lord Grant me patience and meekness like that of my blessed Saviour. O send the guardian Angel dear Father to keep me in my slumber tonight. Forgive my sins for this day O blessed Father for my Redeemer's sake. Wash me Thy blood O my Saviour and cleanse me from my sins. Holy Spirit descend upon my heart, and kindle a flame of sacred love and pure devotion. I intend reading and praying before retiring to rest.
Jan. 12th Arose before five. Feeling badly but performing my toilet and fresh air revived me. Read three Chp. Ex. Before breakfast, one in Mark at noon. Heavenly Father give me a Christlike spirit, humble, meek and unselfish. Brighten Thou my hope of Heaven. I felt happy tonight and sang "Rest for the weary," may I obtain that rest in Heaven. Chp in St. Mark.
Jan. 13th Arose early. Morning devotions. Three Chp Ex. One in Mark at noon and supplications. Opened and closed school with Scripture reading and prayer. Returned home in bad humor. I have today been feeling badly, and I fear have indulged my feelings too much. I am too selfish and uncharitable O blessed blessed Father give me a clean heart and a right spirit. Enable me to overcome the world, the flesh and the devil. Blessed Jesus, my precious Saviour my glorious Redeemer, love me freely and forgive me in memory of they passion and death. Holy Spirit, sweet messenger of rest, come and dwell in my heart, that no room be left for the evil spirit. On the approach of night I humbles knelt in secret and called upon God for mercy and forgiveness through His dear Son, who came from Heaven and died for sinners, "the just for the unjust." I hope I shall learn a lesson profitable unto me from this day's transactions. Chp. In Mark. Evening devotions.
Jan. 14th Cloudy and damp, but warm. Feeling weak and badly. Had company. Read three Chp in Ex. Morning and noon supplications. I have indulged in unkind actions, words and feelings today. Have been selfish and rebellious. Lord help me for I cannot do right of myself. I am so sinful by nature and practice. Forgive me kind Father for Jesus sake, and may I feel reconciled to Thee before I retire tonight. Help me by Thy grace to conquer my evil passions. Give me more patience and forbearance, more zeal and energy, stronger faith. Aid me in overcoming the adversary, the world and the flesh. Give me grace to conquer all that is wrong in this wicked heart of mine to make it a fit dwelling place for Thy Holy Spirit. Prepare me for the approaching Sabbath day and help me to keep it holy, if I am spared to see it. If I should be called away before another sun may I be prepared to meet my God in peace. Impress Thy precious word upon me and may I gain instructions from its truths and find comfort in its promises. Help me to have a meek and quiet spirit at home and abroad, and not "grow weary in well doing." Reading and devotions.
Sunday, Jan. 15th Cloudy morning, sunshiny evening, cold night. Morning devotions. Read 8 Chp in Ex. During day 8 or 9 and finished St. Mark Read some in Advocate, first Chp Luke devotions at night feeling sad and badly during day. Heard the children's Sabbath school lessons. Give me more strength Gracious Father. Heal my body, if it is Thy will, illuminate my mind, and sanctify my soul.
Jan. 16th Arose early. Morning devotion. Three Chp Ex. Cold weather. Feeling better. Pretty day but cold and freezing. Taught school. One Chp Luke at noon, supplications. Read a letter from Mina Darden one of my dear college friends. Feeling better and happier tonight. Heard children's lessons. Reading and devotions.
Jan. 17th Cold frost. Arose early. Feeling very well this morning for which I am grateful to our kind Heavenly Father. Morning devotions and reading in Ex. Chp in Luke at noon and supplications. Reading and devotions before retiring. I will ask God to forgive my great sins and enable me to follow Jesus more humbly and closely. I heard some lessons at home for the children tonight. I have been hasty and impatient today. O blessed God help me to practice patience and let her have her perfect work " in my heart." Oh! Though great All-patient add to my human, thy divine strength. Watch over me in my slumber and preserve my unprofitable life till another day, if it be in accordance with Thy will. When tomorrow arrives may I be strengthened by They might in the inner man. Help me to think, speak and act as for eternity. Cleanse my impure heart in the blood of the blessed Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. Help me to obey, respect and honor my earthly parents and never utter anything to them that I would desire to recall if I were deprived of them. Help O Lord to treat my brothers and sisters kindly always and never offered the little ones in any way. May I have grace all sufficient for me in every time of need.
Jan. 18th Arose at six. Saw the dawning of day in the east, the sun arising in his splendor. The material sun is glorious but the Maker thereof is far more glorious. Feeling very well this morning. Read three Chp and finished Moses' 2nd book of the Pentateuch, Exodus. Heard sweet singing birds today at school house. The joyous little songsters of the wood and vale praise their Maker in sweet harmonious notes. Feeling badly, physically speaking. One Chp. In Luke. Prayer.
Jan. 19th Arose at six. Prayer. Read 3 Chp in Levit. Cool evening. Feeling somewhat indisposed. Pleasant evening, but I have felt so worthless today. I need more grace patience and strength. The gracious Lord grant to supply all my deficiencies out of His abundant store. One Chp. In Luke at noon supplications. Heard the children's lessons tonight. One Chp in St. Luke, devotions.
Jan. 20th Arose very early. Morning devotions. Three Chp in Levit. Before breakfast. One in Luke at noon supplications. I have lacked patience and humility today. O Lord have mercy upon my sinful heart, and purify it. Feeling badly tonight. Lord bless me in reading Thy Word and prayer before retiring.
Jan. 21st Arose early. Morning devotions and reading. Had company. Commenced taking more medicine which through the kind providence of God I hope shall great improve my impaired health. Read in Bible at noon. Feeling very badly tonight, but I am thankful to be as well as I am. The Lord sanctify to my spiritual good, my bodily afflictions and all my earthly trials. May the cross in my soul be consumed and the gold refined. Tomorrow the Holy Sabbath of the Lord. May it be a sweet day of rest, and communion of my soul with God. The Lord has spared my life through another week in His great mercy. Many things I know I have done that were sinful, but Blessed Father forgive me for the sake of Thy dear Son. May the Angel of love and peace guard my repose tonight.
Jan. 22nd Another Holy Sabbath has come, the fourth in the year. How rapidly time passes! The day beautiful like a spring day. Having company prevented me from reading as much as I would like. How it is for the Sabbath to be desecrated by visiting during its holy hours Even professors of our holy religion go about visiting on the Holy day of the Lord. I hope the practice in our community will cease. We should as members of the Church let our lights shine before the world, and be a peculiar people unto God. He gives us six days to work and visit why take from Him the seventh? This custom is calculated to do harm in several ways. The visitor deprives himself of much holy reading, meditation and communion, which he might enjoy in his own quiet home. He goes perhaps into ungodly company where God is not properly respected. He deprives those whom he visits from their Sabbath duties and privileges. He sets a bad example before children and worldly people, thus bringing a reproach upon the Church, by not obeying the express command of God. The Lord grant top open our eyes and arouse our consciences that we may plainly learn our duty to Him to each other and to ourselves.
Jan 23rd Reading Scripture lesson and prayers for the day usual. Feeling unwell with cold and sore throat. Heard of recent marriage of a friend. Wish him well, with a happy life on earth and a home in Heaven.
Jan. 224th Arose after six. Pleasant day. Bible reading and devotions through the day. Finished third book Pentateuch. Went to school house but unable to teach retired home. The Lord give me grace to bear all my afflictions submissively, and sanctify them to my eternal good.
Jan. 25th Beautiful day, the weather reminding me of spring. Taught school. I am thankful to the good Lord for sparing my life thus far and granting me such great blessings. Usual religious duties. The blessed Lord teach me to pray as I ought. Father forgive my sins for Jesus sake, and give me a bright evidence of my acceptance with Thee, even Thy Holy Spirit bearing witness with my spirit that I am born of God. O Lord Thou knowest how weak and frail I am, and how helpless, but Thou art all strength and wisdom and might. Strengthen me by Thy might in the inner man. Make me O my blessed Saviour more like Thou art holy in heart and pure in life. Oh! For a bright hope of eternal life in Heaven. Most fair and happy land where no sickness pain or death can ever come, but where all is peace and joy and happiness in the presence of God and they holy Angels.
"I want to be an angel
And with the angels stand,
A crown upon my forehead
A harp with my hand,
And shine before my saviour,
So glorious and so bright,
I'd wake the sweetest music,
And praise Him day night."
Like the sweet Pslamist of old I would say "O that I had wings like a dove, for then would I fly away and at rest." But gracious Father give me humility and resignation to They Holy Well. Help me to be ever dutiful and contented with my lot and station in life. Thou all patient source of love divine, breathe into this heart of mind the pure flame of sacred love and the incense of the patient nation. O meek and lowly Jesus, "The fairest among ten thousand the altogether love," despised of men and rejected of sinners, help me to bear the burdens of life, for Thou was made perfect through suffering. Dear Lord send the sweet Angel of peace to watch beside my bedside tonight while I sleep. O spare me yet longer to serve Thee if it is Thy will, yet if it be Thy to take me soon may I be ready with "lamp trimmed and burning meet the Bridegroom when He cometh."
Jan. 26th Arose early. Cloudy day and raining towards night. Usual religious duties for the day.
Jan. 27th Cloudy morning. Devotions. Reading ________ three Chps in Numbers. Feeling very well this morning, for which I am grateful to our kind Heavenly Parent. His blessings are over all His works, and He giveth to all His creature their meat in due season. All honor be unto His great Name for His marvelous works, and His great goodness to the children of men. Kind Father be with me this day to aid me in duty's path to comfort and sustain me in trial and disappointments, and to succour me in the hour of temptations. Be with me through life's devious pathway, and guide me safely to a haven of rest-eternal in Heaven. Raining in afternoon, towards night. The sun peeped from behind the clouds a short time during day. One Chp. In John at noon. Supplications. Evening - one Chp John and devotions before retiring.
Jan. 28th Arose later than usual. Morning devotions, reading three Chp. Numbers morning and noon supplication. Cloudy morning, but sun shone in afternoon. May the Lord prepare me for the duties of tomorrow the holy Sabbath. I hope I shall have the sacred privilege of attending the worship of the holy sanctuary. Nevertheless not my will the Lord's be done, for He knows best in all things. I am willing to commit myself into His hands, for He will direct me aright - if I desire it, and seek his guidance. May he use me in His service as he sees fit, and prepare me to the contented, ever with my lot and station in Life. May the kind Father pour out His Holy Spirit upon His ministers who may stand up on tomorrow, to deliver His message of salvations, to dying, immortal, blood bought soul; that His word may be preached in its purity and power, resulting in the conversion of many precious souls, and the building up of His Zion. May He own and bless the Sabbath school cause and sanctify it to the conversion of the young. Evening devotions and reading one chp St. John.
Jan. 29th Cloudy morning but a more pleasant afternoon. Another Holy Sabbath has dawned and my life has been spared to welcome it. May it be keep holy by all God's people. May the presence of the Lord to bless be with every congregation assembled to worship Him in His sanctuaries throughout the world. May His Spirit be upon all His ministering servant, and good results from their labors to the honor and glory of His Holy Name. Arose later than usual this morning. Morning devotions. Bible reading. Attended preaching at our church and heard a very good sermon by our preacher 6 Chp Matt. 9.10/ verses, being the beginning of our Lord' prayer, as He taught His disciples. The preacher said this prayer was the most comprehensive thing he had every seen; embracing so much knowledge in so few word. The first clause teaches us our relation to God. "Our Father" an endearing title. All men are the offspring of God by creation, and all would be rightful heirs of all God's dominions, and of the blessed mansions of Heave, were it not for the estrangement caused by sin. And if heirs with God, joint heirs with Jesus Christ His Son. He said our earthly parents were dear to us and would risk their own lives for the safety of their children. Then followed the quotation, "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. The Lord the Father of Christians in a peculiar sense by adoption, and for other things that take place before conversion. "Which art in Heaven." This phrase teaches us where God is, He dwells in Heaven and earth is his footstool. The Saviour taught this prayer to His Apostles while on earth and if God hears prayer from man on earth, and He dwells in Heaven, then He is present everywhere. He is omnipresent, omnipotent and ominiscient. "Thy Kingdom come." The preacher said he thought this prayer ought to be said from the heart, once a day anyhow, for then we would feel that we had prayed right, for as the Saviour taught it, He knew that it would find audience with God. The Lord's prayer too seldom said, many times it is said from the lips in a proud manner, without proceeding from the heart. If the truth of religion is enjoy, the formal will come anyhow, but the formal is used alone, He will not do nay good to pray "Thy Kingdom come," if we do not all we can to make it come. Prayer is desire, the poet says "Prayer is the souls' sincere desire." If a man desires to make a crop, he will do all in his power to accomplish it. If he desires to perform some great scheme, he will do all he can to bring to pass. If those who pray "Thy Kingdom come" desire it from the heart, they will do all in their power to make it come. This phrase teaches us another relation which God sustains t us, that of King, and we are His subjects. He is especially a King to believers. To them He has a spiritual Kingdom, He is King of kings and Lord of lords." If the kingdom of God were in ever heart, Heave would be established on earth, all would be peace, no more sickness, sorrow, pain or death. Do we today as Christian desire that God's kingdom should come, then will we do all in our power to make it come. "Thy will be done on earth as it is done in Heaven." Some would say surely this text cannot be taken in it literal meaning, how can God's will be don on earth by men as angels do it in Heaven? God would mock His sin oppressed creatures, by requiring of them what they are not able to do. The Saviour taught His disciples to pray that God's will be done on earth as it is done in Heave, He would not teach them to pray for that which they could not perform. The nearer we live to the Cross of Christ, the happier will we be, the farther we go off from it. The less will we enjoy religion. "Hallowed be Thy name," a life of praise and adoration, is as little as we should do for the protection of God in this life and hereafter. Read 10 Chp in Numbers during Sabbath and 3 Chp in John. Heard children's Sabbath School lessons, supplications and devotion.
Jan. 30th Cloudy again, arose before six, called upon the name of God. Read 3 chps in Numbers, supplications. Feeling very well today, One Chp in John at night, evening devotions.
Jan. 31st Unlike the first day of this month the last has been cloudy and damp. One month of the New Year has rapidly flown by, another soon shall be gone. After a short time the year shall have passed, and many who now live, will be dead, and their spirits in eternity. O may we stamp improvement on the moments as they pass, that we may give a good account at last. Arose early. Morning devotions, 3 Chps in Num, one chp each at noon and at night in John. Evening devotions.
Feb. 1st Arose very early. Lightning and strong wind before day. Cloudy and dark, windy morning. Read 3 chps in Num. before breakfast. Devotions. How happy should Christians feel to know that "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." "Therefore will we not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea." Though the elements are raging, yet God is a shield to them that trust in Him, for He holds the winds in His own right hand. "The Lord God is a sun and shield, the Lord will give grace and glory, no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. The weather has been inclement today, preventing me from repairing to the school room, but I taught in my room at home. Thanks be unto God, the same Great and good Being who gives us sunshine, sends also the rain and storm If there were no dark clouds, we would not know how to appreciate the bright sunshine. If Christians had no trials of their faith they would not know how weak they were. God does His will the army of Heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth, and none can stay His hand, or say unto Him what doest Thou. We have had thunder, lightning, torrents of rain and sunshine today. I am feeling very well and happy this afternoon., "Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." Blessed Jesus may my soul cling to Thee, and love Thee more and more each day that I live. Read one chp. In John at noon, supplications, one chp. In John at night and devotions.
Feb. 2nd Very foggy early in the morning, dark cloud and raining during the day. 2 chps in Num. 1 chp in Deut in morning, 1 chp in John at noon and 1 at night. Devotions, and supplication. As night approached, I knelt in prayer to God.
Feb. 3rd Arose happy in the love of God. I thought of the many reasons why we should love God and be thankful unto Him, as well as of the tokens of His love to us. This beautiful world, the comforts and associations of this life, the privileges of His Word, His Holy Comforter, and above all, His only begotten Son to die for sinful man. Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift. Arose before six, went out, and saw the lovely stars shining. The sun arose brightly this morning. The weather cooler. Devotions 3 chps Deut. 1 chp John each at noon and night. Prayer and supplications.
Feb. 4th Beautiful sunshiny day. Cold. 3chps Deut., devotions, 3 chps Deut at noon, supplications. May I be prepared to keep holy the Lord's day 1 chp John Devotions.
Feb. 5th The Holy Sabbath of our God, hallowed by Him as a day of rest, for His creatures. Did not arise as early as usual. 6 chps Deut. & 2 John. 4 chps in Acts during day. 1 in Acts at night. Devotions and supplications. Beautiful day, resembling spring weather, moon shining brightly at night. Had company. Felt happy during day.
Feb 6th Beautiful morning, sun shining brightly. Arose very early. Devotions. Read 3 chps Deut. & in acts at noon and at night. Warm, bright day.
Feb. 7th Cloudy day. Devotions. Read 3 chps Deut. 1 chp in Acts at noon and at night. Devotions and supplications. Feeling badly during day but thankful for mercies from above.
Feb. 8th Cloudy, did not arise as early as usual. Morning devotions 3 chps. Deut. 1 chp. In Acts at noon and at night. Devotions and supplications during day. Feeling indisposed again today, but I am thankful to our kind Heavenly Parent for His continued mercies, toward me. Oh! This sinful heart, blessed Lord cleanse it, in Thy blood. Make me pure, for Thou art pure. May each day bring me nearer to Thee and Heaven.
Feb. 9th Warm day. Did not arise as early as usual. 3 chps Deut. 1 in Acts at noon and at night. Devotions and supplications during day.. I had to punish two of my scholars for disobedience. I talked to them about the enormity of sin in the sight of God, and I hope and pray that good impressions have been made on their young hearts.
Feb. 10th Beautiful morning, sun shining brightly, weather pleasant like spring. 3 chps Deut., read also in the Acts of the Apostles.
Feb. 11th Cloudy morning, but more pleasant in afternoon. Morning devotions and reading in Deut. Commenced book of Joshua. Had the blessed privilege of attending church and worshipping in God's Holy sanctuary, heard a sermon from text 2nd Cor. 13th chap, part of 5th v. Examine yourselves whether ye be in the faith, prove your ownselves. The preacher read a Psalm, we sung a hymn, and a feeling prayer was offered to the throne of grace. I do not remember the sermon very well, but will try and give in my own words the sense as near as I can. Cold Christians are prone to examine themselves. We must examine ourselves by the standard of truth. We may know that we are in the faith from various reasons. The outward forms are secret prayer, when we pour out our feelings to God, where no eye can see but God's. By family prayer. By attending upon the ordinance of the sanctuary. When we have prayed in secret, have we felt God's Spirit testifying that we were children of God. Do we pray in our families? Do we let our light shine, or hide it under a bushel? Some professors of religion are such that after being in their company, we do not know whether they are Christians or not. Such hide their light. We must do all in our power to make the Kingdom of Christ come and prevail over the earth. There are also inward testimonies. Do we love God's people? A child of God never gets so high that he cannot love any child of God who is low. Do we love the brethren? Have we charity in our hearts, that charity that will keep us from judging others harshly, and enable us to smooth over the faults of others? Some people are so much accustomed to search out the faults of other's religious characters, that they forget themselves. "Faith, hope and charity but the greatest of these is charity." Charity is one of the greatest virtues, greater than faith that removes mountains, and hope that secures us an anchor within the vail. We must not only examine ourselves but we must prove ourselves, stress being laid on the word ourselves. The merchant proves his good, the sailor proves his compass, the scholar his lesson, the student his mathematical problem, and shall a child of God not prove his religion? We may prove our religion by reason and conscience. Religion is reasonable. God does not require of us what we cannot do, nor allow us to be tempted above that which we can bear, but will with the temptation, provide a way of escape. Quotation from John (Remember the forms of Godling may be possessed without the power, but if we have the power, we will have also the forms.) Does our religion prove sufficient to bear us up under all of life's temptations and trials? If not, we have a false religion. Do we feel that Jesus died to save sinners? Do we feel that He is our individual Saviour, and if we were to be suddenly cut off, have we oil in our vessels, our lamps trimmed and burning, ready that our spirits may appear before God in eternity? We know not how soon we may die. Do we let our lights shine brightly? A Christian who lets his light shine at all times, may be compared to the sun's rays which shine here and there and everywhere. He exhorted us to turn an inward gaze into our own hearts and examine there. After preaching he held a class meeting, the first I was ever in, but thanks be unto God for the privilege of bearing testimony for Jesus for He is my Light and my Salvation, and He is my only Hope. The preacher said that it was our privilege to be always happy. I have felt happy in my soul today, while praying, but I know my heart is yet sinful, and needs a thorough washing with Jesus blood, to make me clean. Lord give me a brighter evidence of my acceptance with Thee, in the Beloved. Help me to be more charitable, faithful, humble, meek and patient. Watch over me king Father, this night, prepare me for the duties of Thy Holy Day, and may it be a day of sweet rest and communion of my soul with God. Reading. Devotions.
Feb. 12th Cloudy and raining. Read in Acts and Psalms. Heard children's Sabbaths school lessons, and read some in Advocate. Had the blessed privilege of attending the worship of the Holy Sanctuary. Heard a good sermon by our minister Mr. Brown, from text Romans 1 chp 16th verse. I will give in my own language the sense of the sermon, as near as I can remember. He commenced by giving a history of the author of the Epistle, Saint Paul the Apostle, related his miraculous conversion, his first question after conversion being, "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" Why was Saint Paul not ashamed of the gospel of Christ? Because, according to the text, it is the power of God unto salvation. We know not where to begin to speak of the power of God. He has a creative power. He spoke, and the world sprang from Chaos. He has put the sun in his place to give us light. He also set the stars in Heaven. The same Power that created, could destroy the world, and again created other worlds to roll in space. The Power here spoken of is not mere physical power, it is something greater, the Power of God unto salvation. The spiritual Power of God, is as far above His temporal Power, as eternity is above time (Saint Paul was not ashamed of Jesus, whose cradle was an ox stall, and who during His pilgrimage on earth, had no place to rest His weary head). It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of God. If some friend or relative had left any of us a legacy across the waters, we would hardly fail to go after it. Jesus has left us a legacy. None in this congregation would sell his or her interest in Heaven, but some of you are bartering away this interest, and are going on down to perdition. (If it were not for this power of God, our country would still have been uncivilized. It has caused the church bell to be heard instead of the war son, and the desert to blossom as the rose.) This salvation is not limited, it may be embraced in Africa, as well as in enlightened countries. To whom is this power given? To every one that believeth. We talk about great sins and little sins. We have the power to hear, to see to rise and walk or to sit, we may hear or close our ears, we may see or close our eye. So we have the power to believe. Those who do not believe, trample the blood of their saviour beneath their feet. He came from Heaven, lived and suffered on earth, crucified on Calvary, buried, resurrected and ascended to Heave, and still pleads for us there. When we come to die, we shall need a friend, the skill of the physician, and the consolations of the loved ones, will do us no good there. If we have been believers, then we shall die in peace, and meet our loved ones in Heave, who have gone before us.
Feb. 13th Cloudy and rainy, windy, dark evening. Read Joshua at morning, Joshua and Acts at noon. Feeling badly, physically speaking, I feel that I have been humbled, and hope and pray for more meekness and humility. I have had thoughts about dying, have tried to examine my heart to ascertain its condition, whether if God should send the Reaper, Death, soon I should be ready. I have faith in Jesus, but I know that the Adversary of souls is seeking to lead me astray by doubts. Oh! Blessed Father send Thy Holy Spirit to comfort my soul this evening. Send the peace of forgiveness into my soul, give me a brighter evidence of my acceptance, and grant to help me overcome my doubts, and place all my confidence in Thee all my hope in Jesus. Father humble and change my sinful heart, then take it, and seal it, for Thy courts above. Oh! Saviour, "Other refuge have I none, Hangs my helpless soul on Thee." "In my hands no price I bring, Simply to Thy cross I cling." If there is any idol or secret sin, still lurking in my breast, and hiding Thy countenance from me, O remove it, and take full possession of my heart. "Then shall my walk be close with God, Calm and serene my frame, Purer light shall make the road that leads me to the Lamb." O when shall I see Jesus, and rest in that happy land? Father, watch over our bodies and souls, and protect our lives through this night, while darkness is over the earth. May we feel that all is well, for God knows best in all things, and though the elements are raging without, yet God is near, and He guides the strong wind and rain.. All power and salvation, belong unto Him who is worth to be praised. "Bless the Lord O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name, Praise ye the Lord, Praise Him, at all times.
Feb. 14th Sun shone a part of the day. Cold. Read in Joshua, Acts and Psalms. Devotions and supplications. Feeling better.
Feb. 15th Sun shining brightly this morning. Read in Acts, at noon, Paul's defense before king Agsippa. I have had some trials of my patience today, and I know that I have not been as humble and submissive as I should have been. I pray God to give me more patience, help me to conquer my passions, and teach me to control my temper and feelings. At the twilight hour I was in my room alone, and as I laid my head upon the window casement, looking at the stars, I thought that all these stars together were not as beautiful as the Star of Bethlehem, not so glorious; and if we would follow it, and submit to its guidance, its beams would be so bright in our hearts, as to obliterate any dark sin and its light would so brighten our path way, as to enable us to apprehend our toils, and snares, and be prepared to overcome the. Glorious Star this, that brightens our pathway to Heaven, and sheds His beams into our hearts to cheer us in our pilgrimage, through a world of sin and sorrow. It is the bright Jewel in Heaven's diadem, plucked there from to purchase a ransom for man's soul. May it guide my soul finally to the gates of the Holy City, and gain for me an entrance to the bright mansions of eternal bliss. Reading, scriptures and devotions.
Feb. 16th Beautiful day and pleasant. Read in Joshua in morning, in Acts at noon, the account of Paul's shipwreck, in Psalms at night. Feeling very well today, devotions and supplications during day. At eventide, knelt in the secrecy of my own chamber, and poured out my soul in prayer. "Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift."
Feb. 17th Warm day, windy during afternoon. Read last four chps Eccles. In the morning, 4 chps in Rev. and 1 chp. In Acts at noon. Kept the day as a day of fasting, being Friday before 1st Quarterly meeting on our circuit. Devotions and supplications during day. Had trials of my temper and patience today, and I feel that I am too weak to depend upon self. The Lord, in His mercy, assist me to overcome.
Feb. 18th Alternately cloudy and sunshiny. Very windy and colder in afternoon. Last night we heard something near akin to a storm.. Read in Joshua and Roman. Devotion and supplications. I desire the blessed Lord to forgive my sins for Jesus' sake, to give me new grace and strength, for life's duties and trials. May He prepared me for the Sabbath day's duties and privileges.
Feb. 19th Pretty day, but cold. Another Holy Sabbath has come. I am thankful for its privileges. Though I may not attend the worship of the Sanctuary, I know that the Almighty dwelleth not in temples made with hands, and He will attend our faithful prayers wherever we may be. Read in Joshua, Romans, Psalms and Advocate. Devotions and supplications. May my Sabbath's ever be wellsprings, along lifes pathway. May the Lord add His blessings to His word preached, and the labors performed in His service.
Feb. 20th Pretty morning, but cold. Read 3 chps. In Judges, read in Romans at noon, devotions and supplications. Feeling badly while today. The Lord give me strength and courage to do and suffer His will. May His kind providence be over me while I slumber tonight.
Feb. 21st Pleasant day. Read in Judges and Rom. Feeling very well, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Devotions and supplications. More strength and grace, and courage, and faith, and humility, and patience, and meekness I need.
Feb. 22nd Pleasant day, but somewhat cloudy. Read in Judges and Romans. Devotions and supplications. Feeling very well, for which I return gratitude to our kind Heavenly Parent from whom proceed all our blessings. May His Holy Name be ever praised. May His kind providence and watchful care, be over me during the hours of night, and may I ever watch for the coming of the Bridegroom, keeping my lamp trimmed and burning, with oil in my vessesl, ready to go into the marriage supper of the Lamb, and whether He comes at the cock crowing at morning, at noon, at evening, or at midnight, may I be ready to go.
Feb. 23rd Cloudy. Read in Judges and Rom. Devotions and supplications. Not well, but I am thankful, that it is as well as it is. I owe my all to Him who has created, preserved and redeemed me.
Feb. 24th Cloudy. Ready in Judges and Romans. Devotions, supplications. I need more grace and strength.
Feb. 25th Pretty day, but windy. Ready in Judges, devotions, supplications.
Feb. 26th Hard rain and wind in afternoon. Another Holy Sabbath day. How thankful we should ever be for such blessed privileges.. Read in Ruth and 1st Corinthians, also in Advocate. Devotions and supplications.
Feb. 27th Beautiful day, colder than it has been.. Read in 1st Sam. This morning. Sa God heard Hannah's prayer of faith, so he is ever willing to do the same if we approach him aright. Read in 1st Cor. At noon, supplications. Have had some unexpected trials today, but the blessed Lord has, I hope, sanctified them to my good. I will not carry them to my earthly friends, for it will add new sorrows to theirs, and they have sufficient to bear of their own burdens, without the additional weight of mine. I will get me down upon the feeble knees of my decaying mortality, and pour out my soul's feeling to my dear blessed Heavenly Father. I know He careth for me, therefore I will cast my burdens upon Him, because He ahs told me to do so in His precious Word. O how weak and frail is human nature. Strengthen me my blessed Father, for every duty and trial, and prepared me to meet them. Thou knowest the deep secrets of my heart, search it and cleanse it with the precious blood of Jesus. O blessed Saviour, Thou has suffered on earth, help me to bear my burdens faithfully. Glory, glory be to God for His precious promises. Glory be to Jesus who has redeemed my soul. Holy Spirit wrap Thy Almighty wings around me tonight.
Feb. 28th Very pretty day, but cold. Ready in 1st Sam. and 1st Cor. And in Psalms at night. Devotions and supplications. How weak I am, Lord my only help must come from thee. This is the last day of the 2nd month of the New Year. Time waits for no man. O may we improve time, so we may spend a happy eternity.
March 1st First day of spring. The cold winter months are again wrapped in the ages of the past. Now may we look for bright, winged birds, in the pleasant groves, warbling their sweet songs of praise to their Maker. The beautiful flowers have already begun to put forth their buds and blossoms. Soon the hill and dale will be covered with the green foliage of the leafy trees. The sun is shining this morning. The air is cool. Read in 1st Sam. and Psalm. Devotions.
March 2nd Warmer today and cloud. Read in 1st Sam. and 1st Cor. I indulged in passionate and impatient feelings today. I am sorry for my sins. May the blessed Lord look upon me in tender compassion, and forgive me, and assist me in overcoming my evil passions. Devotions.
March 3rd Cloud this morning, hard rain in evening. Read in Corinthians. Devotions.
March 4th Beautiful day, fair and cold. Read in 1st Samuel and Corinthians. Devotions.
March 5th Beautiful day. Devotions. Read in Cor. Heard Sabbath school lessons. Another Holy day of rest, O that we would keep it holier.
March 6th Pretty day. Read in 1st Sam. Cor, and in Psalms at night. Devotions
March 7th Pleasant day. Read in Sam. and Cor. Devotions. I am sorry that I have indulged in passionate feelings and words. May God help me to conquer this evil heart, and subdue within me these evil feelings.
March 8th Pleasant day. Read in Samuel and Galatians, Devotions.
March 9th Raining in the morning, but the sun shone in afternoon. Read in Sam. and Gal. Devotions.
March 10th Read in Sam. and Gal. Kept fast day. I hope I will be blessed in the use of all the means of grace. Devotions.
March 11th Cloudy and raining with thunder and lightning. Attended church at Bethfrage. Heard a sermon by Mr. Brown from text 414 C. Luke latter clause of 13th v. This parable was spoken by the Saviour to His disciples, but may also be applied to people of the present day. The saviour has gone to prepare His mansions, and He will come again. Our bodies may not be living on earth at His second coming, but we shall be resurrected either to salvation or damnation. We were all created by His servants, how is it with us today? Do we occupy the talents God has give us? One of the servants in the text gained ten pounds for his pound, another five, but the third hid his away in a napkin.. To some of Christ's servants today are hiding their talents. Every person possessing any degree of mind, is endowed with some talent, some means of doing good. The nobleman's servants would not have their lord to reign over them, so some of Christ's servants will not have Him to reign over them. Have we done anything for our Lord? Have we ever said anything to turn an erring soul from His sins? Mr. Brown said to the congregation, "Let us pray every day for God's blessing upon the community. We had class meeting. Uncle Billie went around to speak with those present. May the Lord's blessing be poured upon us this year.
March 12th Pleasant day. Had the happy privilege of attending the worship of God's Holy Sanctuary. Heard a good sermon by our beloved young minister, Mr. C.E. Brown, from text, Saint Mark 8th chp. 36, 37, 38, vers. The text involves an important question, and as we all are interested in it, it behooves us to inquire into it. There are a great many sources in the world from which we may derive pleasure. His mine, the mysterious essence which distinguishes him from the brute creation, is a source of great pleasure. By the ingenuity of mind the great waters are alive with moving creatures, by means of which, commerce is carried on between different nations. By the ingenuity of mind, men go to the bottom of the ocean, and work for hours as he would on land. By the ingenuity of mind, man traverse the atmosphere, for miles, and measures the earth. Without mind man would be no better than a brute. There are also the senses from which man derives pleasure. From the sense of sight by which we look upon the beauties of Nature. The sense of hearing, by which we hear Nature. No one present, would be willing to give up his interest in sight, and never to look again upon budded nature, and the faces of familiar friends. But we have only been speaking in a comparative manner, we will come nearer to the question. We will take two men in precisely the same circumstances, and with the same advantages. One has an ambitious mind, he wishes to make himself a name, to gain honor. He amasses wealth, and gets himself such a name, that kings delight to do him honor. His name is in all the land. But the hour of death comes on, and he would give all he had for one short space of time to live. So his wealth and fame may do to live by, but not to die by. The consolations of friends are all in vain now. Wealth smoothes his pillow in vain. The other man has a desire to do good, he helps that poor and stops the orphan's cry. He is looked upon, by the world as a common man. But when death comes, and he is asked, what he would give to have his life prolonged, he replies, "give all the gold to the poor. Most of the pleasures of this, life outside of the religion of our Lord Jesus Christ, are sinful. We can not find words to describe the loss of an immortal soul. It cost Jesus, the King of Heaven, His blood. God, angels, satan, hell are all combined to make it valuable. If one soul were placed in Heaven's balances, and the world and all its wealth in the other, all these would be as nothing in comparison with that soul. It is not God's fault that any man loses his soul. He loses his own soul, he might have saved it by suing his own free moral agency, his own will at his command. "Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" If all the stars that hang in Heaven's canopy were pure gold, the earth a mass id diamonds and all the grains of sand, upon the seashore, pure gold and these multiplied, it would not stop the shriek of the smallest soul in hell. If hell could be capped, and we allowed to speak to one of the lost spirits these, he would tell us that if he had one hour or many, a few years or many years to live, he would give them all to God. Words are inadequate, to tell, what eternity is. We may multiply height by depth, and the greatest numerical value, and still we do not estimate eternity. If a lost soul in hell had hopes, that after one year had passed, or fifty years, or even millions of years, he would be released, there would be something to alleviate the suffering, but it is eternal. Eternity is as fart above time, as God is stronger than man is strong. Read in my Bible. Devotions. I felt happy, while we were singing one of the sweet songs of Zion.
March 13th Very good day, pleasant morning, warmer in afternoon. Read in old and new Testaments. Devotions. May the dear Lord help me to be more patient and humble.
March 14th Very good day. Read in Bible. Devotions.
March 15th Very good day. Read in Samuel and new Testament.
March 16th Windy day, but pleasant, Read in Samuel and Phillippians. Devotions. Have had my patience tried again today, and feel my utter inability, to overcome my passionate spirit, without the assistance of the Great All- patient. May He help me to conquer my tempers, and be more Christ-like in my daily life.
March 17th Raining. Read in Sam. Devotions Glory to my God, because He has spared me till another night. Praise God, praise Him all men.
March 18th cloudy morning, but pretty afternoon. Bible reading and devotions.
March 19th Pretty day. Holy Sabbath. Had company, and consequently did not enjoy the Holy hours, as much as I desired. Bible reading and devotions.
March 20th Pretty day, warm. Feeling badly. Bible reading and devotions.
March 22nd Pleasant day. Read in Col. And Psalms. Felt sad this evening. Comfort me O God, in the midst of all my trials.
March 23rd Pleasant morning, rather warm during afternoon. Bible reading, Devotions.
March 24th Pretty day. Bible reading and devotions.
March 25th Windy and little cloud, but pleasant. Bible reading and devotions.
March 26th Another Holy Day. I was at home all day, reading a great portion of the day. Read in Kings, Thessalonians and the Christian Advocate. Devotions. Had rain in afternoon.
March 27th Cloud this morning. Bible reading and prayers.
March 28th Cloudy and somewhat cool. Bible reading and prayers.
March 29th Bible reading and devotions.
March 30th Hard rain. Bible reading and devotions.
March 31st Pretty day. Bible reading and devotions.
April 1st Cloudy morning but pretty afternoon. Time is flying, he waits for no man, but ever pursues his onward way. O Father comfort me tonight, and give me the faith and strength, to rise above this world of sin and sorrow, to a happier home above. Sanctify me through all life's pains and toils, and bring me off more than conqueror, through Thy dear Son, our blessed Saviour. Bible reading and devotions.
April 2nd Beautiful day, somewhat cool, I earnestly desired to attend preaching this Holy Day, but could not, on account of bodily suffering. Lord sanctify unto my temporal and spiritual good, all the sufferings and trials of this life. The Holy Sabbath is such a wellspring of joy, to call off our thoughts from the outside cares and duties of this worldly life. How thankful should we be, for the sweet day of rest, which God has hallowed. Bible reading and devotions.
April 3rd Beautiful day, but warm and windy. Bible readings and devotions.
April 4th Pretty day and pleasant. Bible readings and devotions. Blessed Father, make me more child like , in simplicity and faith, and more humble and lowly like my Precious Savior.
April 5th Reading Bible and devotions. Very good day.
April 6th Pretty bright day, Bible reading and devotions.
April 7th Pretty day but warm. Day of abstinence, Bible reading and prayers.
April 8th Pretty day. Bible reading and devotions.
April 9th Another Holy Sabbath day has come and gone. I read the Holy Word, and Fleetwood's Life of Christ. May my faith in the Blessed Savious be increased, and may I love Him more and more every day. Devotions. Heard Sabbath school lessons for children.
April 10th Pleasant day. Raining in afternoon. Reading and devotions. Oh! My passionate nature! How much I need a humble, lowly heart, and a meek, quiet spirit. Help me, dear Saviour, to do better, and to conquer this bad nature. Add to my human Thy Divine Strength, that I may overcome.
April 11th Pleasant day. Bible reading and devotions. Kind Father sustain me amidst all of life's trials, and prepare me for disappointments.
April 12th Bible reading and devotions.
April 13th Bible reading and devotions.
April 14th Bible reading and devotions.
April 15th Hailstorm and hard rain.. Had company. Bible reading and devotions.
April 16th Beautiful Sabbath. Read in Bible and Advocate, Devotions.
April 17th Pretty day. Bible reading and devotions. Feeling gloomy and very dull today. O for the cheerfulness of a true Christian spirit! Help me, Father, so to live, as always to enjoy Thy presence and Thy smiles.
April 18th Pretty day. Bible reading and devotions. Read some pretty and instructive pieces in Advocate.
April 19th Cloudy. Bible reading and devotions. Kind Father, strengthen me and help me to be patient and submissive to Thy will. Read in Ad.
April 20th Hard rain. Bible reading and devotions. I read some instructive pieces in Advocate. O for more of the love of God, shed abroad in my heart. I need more grace for the duties and trials of life, and I know if I ask my kind Father in Heave, He will grant me strength and grace all sufficient.
April 21st Pretty day. Kept it as a day of fasting, preparatory to my twenty first birthday, April 26th when I shall be twenty one years of age. I read in Bible and performed devotions. Feeling happy and cheerful. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name." Praise God, praise God.
April 22nd cloudy and cool morning. Sun shone out in the day. Had pleasant time with my friends at the picnic on the Lake. Bible reading and devotion.
April 23rd Pretty day. Had company and did not read much. Read some in Bible. Devotions.
April 24th Cloudy. Bible reading and devotions.
April 25th Raining in morning, sun shone out little in afternoon. Bible reading and devotions. Thanks to the Giver of all blessings for all that I enjoy tonight. He is ever merciful and kind. Help me dear Saviour to bear life's burdens and overcome.
April 26th Beautiful morning, my twenty first birthday. The blessed Lord has in His merciful providence, spared my sinprofitable life, for twenty one years. Not for any merit of mine but through His great mercy to me a sinner. Help me, O God, to love and serve Thee more and better, than I have ever yet done, remembering the time of my earthly life will soon be past. If in Thy providence I should be called hence, before another birthday dawns over my head, O may I be ready to pass to a better, and happier home. I am twenty one. Can I realize it? How graciously has God cared for me, since I was an infant, and how ungrateful have I been in return for His goodness and mercy. I have read in the Bible and prayed today. I have sung some of the sweet songs of Zion, and my soul was blessed. I have in my thoughts, followed my dear Saviour to Gethsemane, and to Calvary where He bled and died for me. I have gone to His sepulcher, where He was buried, and saw Him rise from the tomb and ascend to Heaven, now to make intercession for me. O how undeserving I am of such wondrous grace and love. Forgive me dear Jesus, for I have trampled Thy most precious blood beneath my unhallowed feet. May I live nearer to Thee, clinging close to Thy dear cross, until I am called hence. Prepare me Kind Father, for all the changes and trials of my life, which await me. Choose my lot for me, and help me to be content therewith. If I should not live on earth another year, take me to Thyself in Heaven, there to be with Thee forevermore.
April 27th Bible reading and devotions.
April 28th Very good day. Read in Bible. Devotions. I had a season of joy today, thinking of Holy things and of Heaven, after reading in Revelations.
April 29th Beautiful day. Feeling very well this morn, for which I return thanks unto the Giver of all good. Read in Bible and performed morning and evening devotions. Kind Father, I thank Thee for Thy very kind protection. If I have indulged in too much lightheartedness, grant that I may be forgiven for the Redeemer's sake.
April 30th Pretty day. The sweet day of rest has come again. I thank God for its privileges. When will our members cease seeking their own pleasure on the Sabbath? O that we would properly appreciate all our golden opportunities, then we should be happier, and God's cause could prosper more. Read in Holy Bible, in Advocate and "Life of Christ." Devotions. Felt happy in the love of God. Thanks be unto Him, for His unspeakable gift. The moon tonight sheds her mellow beams upon the beauties of spring, the stars twinkle in their glory, the soft breezes fan my brow, the night birds wail in the distance, and I am thankful to God for so much of beauty, that He gives us while here. If earth is so beautiful, how lovely must Heaven. I want to go to Heaven when I die, help me dear Saviour to get there, with Thee to dwell forever.
May 1st Cloudy this morning, raining in afternoon. I read in my Bible and performed devotions. My feelings were stirred within me, during twilight devotions. Oh! How I long for a revival in our community and among the church members. Dear Lord, help us to pray with hearts hungering and thirsting after righteousness. Kind and merciful God, send Thy Holy Spirit into our midst, to awaken and convert, to comfort and sanctify. Help me dear Saviour, to live nearer to Thee, for I owe Thee my all, and I know that my earthly pilgrimage is short. Kind Father give me the sweet consolations of They love tonight, and may I retire to rest, truly prepared to go, if I should be called before another sunrise.
" I know I am weak and sinful,
But Jesus will forgive
Dear Savior, when I languish,
And lay me down to die.
O send a shining Angel,
To bear me to the sky."
Remove far from me, the love of the world, and its vanities, and may all my treasures be in Heaven. Blessed Lord hosts, God of mercies hear my prayer, for my dear Redeemer's sake. Amen.
May 2nd Uncertain weather. Bible reading and devotions. I feel my need of God's grace in my heart, may He give unto me a large supply.
May 3rd Cloudy Reading Bible and Magazine. Devotions. More grace, more strength, more faith and meekness I need. Help me Kind Father, to glorify Thee in my soul and body, which are Thine.
May 4th Raining in the forenoon. Pretty evening. Bible reading and devotions.
May 5th Pretty day but cool. Fasted read in Bible and prayed.
May 6th Cool day. Read in Bible and attended to prayer. May the blessed Lord, bless me this night, and prepare me for the Holy Sabbath duties. I love my precious Saviour. I believe He loves me, else why this sweet peace and consolation in my soul, and this joy in my heart. O how I desire and pray to the good Lord, for a revival all over our community, and in our church.
My 7th Pretty day, but cool. Read in Bible and attended to devotions. I love the Holy hours of the Sabbath day. Its privileges are a wellspring unto my soul. O for more grace, more purity of mind, more holiness of heart, let me strive.
May 8th Cool this morning, but sun shining in his beauty.
May 9th Bible reading and devotions. Bless the good Lord, for His abundant mercies.
May 10th Raining and hailing, with thunder and lightning. The beautiful bow of promise made its appearance in the East. In the West, just before the king of day, had taken his departure, he peeped out and discovered to our admiring gaze things beautiful; the rain descending in misty drops, the glistening water upon the trees. How beautiful is earth which God has given to sinful man to enjoy, how much more beautiful and pure must the Home of the good and pure spirits be, who have come out of great tribulation and have made their robes white in the blood of the Lamb. God has been merciful to me today, and has taught me some useful lessons, for which I feel thankful, and which I wish not to forget.
May 11th Bible reading and devotions. Raining.
May 12th Sun shining this morning. Raining during day, but sun shone in afternoon. Bible reading and devotions.
May 13th cloud morning, but bright pleasant after noon. Attended church and hear sermon, by Mr. Brown, from text Gal. 5th chp. 1st v. Mankind in sin are in bondage. We all who have been converted, know that prior to our conversion, we were in bondage. We remember how gloomy everything was while we were under conviction. God sent his Holy Spirit to bring us to Him. We were brought from darkness, into the marvelous light and liberty of the children of God. We should resist all temptations, even the least, in order to stand fast. We should be found often upon our knees. We should watch unto prayer. The Devil goeth about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. If we are free, we shall know it. This liberty is worth more than the liberty of a prisoner from his dungeon. It not only has reference to temporal life, but also to our eternal happiness. He also spoke about God and mammon or serving two masters. Be not entangled again in the yoke of bondage. The Apostle seems to have entertained a shadow of belief that there was a chance to fall back. He exhorted us to stand fast. Kind Father prepare me for the Holy Sabbath duties for the worship of the sanctuary, and for the class meeting, that it may be a season of refreshing and growth in grace unto my soul. Watch over me kind Father during the hours of night.
May 14th Beautiful day. And pleasant weather. Attended preaching at our church. Mr Brown preached and good and impressive sermon, from Text 5th chp 9th verse Hebrews. "And being made perfect He became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey Him." It seems strange to speak of perfection being made perfect. Christ Jesus was perfect in His creative power. He existed before there was anything made, and with out Him was nothing made, that was made. He piled the mountains, and studded the Heavens with star. He is perfect in His possession. All things belong to Him. The Gold of Ophir is but dust compared with His gold. He is also rich in His surroundings. He surrounded by the pure angels in Heaven. Although He was perfect in His creation, possessions and surroundings, He was not then a perfect Redeemer. Man had since the fall been going out of his way to destruction, with a Redeemer. The question must have arisen in the tribune of Heaven, and been answered by the Trinity, who shall redeem man. A human being would not be a fit subject on account of his utter depravity. The son of God proposed to become that Saviour. We see Him upon His throne in Heaven. After a certain time a star appears in the east, in the direction of Bethlehem. We follow it, and it leads to a place where cattle are kept, in a corner, we find the infant Saviour wrapped in swaddling clothes. Eternity surrounded by human flesh. The Lord Heaven found up in human weakness. He was not yet perfect. We have yet to go through those severe trials and temptations which awaited him. It was necessary for Him to assume human weakness to become a perfect Redeemer. He was _____ of the spirit into the wilderness, where He was tempted of the Devil, forty day and forty nights among the wild beasts, without food and drink, in solitude, without the sympathy of a single human being. What must have been His feelings! He was man, as we are men, He had a body and a soul, with desires and appetites as we have. When tempted of the Devil to created bread of stone through suffering with hunger, He did not use His power to satisfy His appetites. He did not consent to worship the Adversary for all the vast possessions of earth. We pass over a period of the Saviour's life and come to the night before His crucifixion. He was soon to give up His disciples whom He loved, and for whom He yearned. And just as He loved them and yearned over them, so He does toward us now. He taketh a few chosen ones, and goeth into the garden of Getsemane. We can imagine the most powerful and fiendish of the fall en angels gathered thickly around Him, as He prays beneath the olive boughs. Satan no doubt, used his utmost at this hour to thwart the plan of man's redemption, for this was the world's last hope, the Savior of mankind was being made perfect through suffering. If He had not gone to Gethsemane, there would have been no salvation. Oh! How our hearts should be filled with gratitude for that hour. He was crucified on the cross, and made perfect through suffering, thus becoming the Author of our salvation. Salvation here means state of being saved, eternal salvation. All the measure o f the geometricians have never been sufficient to measure the distance of Heaven from us. Yet, the Son of God came all the way through millions of world, to earth to become its Savior, suffering penury and want while on earth. This is not only a temporal but an eternal salvation. A man may lose his wealth, his honor, his name, but the salvation of his soul will last forever. The salvation was now purchased but the question now arose how must it be distributed? Shall it be proclaimed that man was universally saved? Then the Divine law would not have been justified, and rather every precious soul be lost, yea every shining angel, then that God's law be not justified. Man is a free agent, it is his action that determined whether he is saved, therefore this salvation is bestowed upon conditions, only to those who obey God will it be given. Where are we today? Are we living for God and His cause, or are we trampling upon the blood of His son. Are we turning our back upon Jesus? The sermon, I trust, did me a great deal of good, may it bring forth good to the honor and glory of God. Read my Bible and meditated and prayed. Felt some what depressed this morning, but realized a blessing in the evening. The sweetest day of the week is past, I love the Holy Sabbath, and thank God for it.
May 15th Good day. Bible reading and devotions.
May 16th Pretty day and for the most part pleasant. Bible reading and devotions. Bless God the Lord.
May 17th Pretty day. Bible reading and devotions.
May 18th Pretty day. Bible reading and devotions. Cloudy evening.
May 19th Pretty day, but cool. Bible reading and devotions.
May 20th Beautiful day, warmer than yesterday. Bible reading and devotions. Tomorrow another Holy day will be ushered in. O may I be prepared to keep it holy unto the Lord! I hope I shall have the sweet privilege of attending the Quarterly Meeting at Bethel and if I do go, I pray that I may be profited by the use of the means of grace, O for a Christ like spirit.
May 21st Attended Quarterly Meeting at Bethel. Services opened with prayer meeting. The P. Elder Mr. Clarke preached, and afterward the Sacrament was administered. A good attendance. Text St. Mark 10 chp. 13, 14, 15, 16 verses in which he endeavored to prove the reasonableness of infant membership. He brought to bear upon the text and made to coincide with it, many passages of scripture. While he allowed others the right to their opinions, he claimed from them the same liberty. He explained in what a church consisted. The church was first established, when God instituted circumscision with Abraham. Every male child must be circumcised at the age of eight days, showing that it was not only a privilege, but a duty for parents to consecrate their children to God. It was the infidel father who impressed a kiss upon his child and said farewell and forever, but it was the Christian mother who kissed her child and said farewell, but not forever. One of the evangelists uses the term young children, one little children, but St. Luke who seems to be more explicit used the term infants. Young children is used figuratively for new converts, but the term infant is not therefore we must take in its literal meaning. We have no direct proof, but we may readily believe there were many of the three thousand received into the church on the day of Pentecost, must have been children. No doubt mothers came with their infants in their arms. Baptism is the door into the invisible church. Christ is the door into the invisible. John the Baptist was received into the Jewish Church, when eight days old, and remained a faithful member until his death. The Saviour was received into the same church at the same age, and remained a faithful member until His death. He also spoke of the baptism of Christ. He spoke of the responsibility of parents in training their children. Mentioned the name of a certain man who had said when he heard the first wailing of his first born, went in prayer to God, and kept it up till his youngest child was born.. Christ told His disciples in His finale to go and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost and children are a part of the nation, another proof for infant membership. Faith is made the condition of salvation. There is however no merit in faith. Our salvation is a free gift from God. Christ told Peter to feed the Lambs as well as the sheep. He spoke of the glorious Sunday School cause. He said if a parents' life was right, his child would have faith in his prayers, whether he did right himself or not. A general in battle in Mexico, stood before the mouth of the enemy's cannon, but consoled himself because he felt he had a mother praying for him. Also, a sailor though an unbeliever, yet had faith in his mother's prayers, while he was tossing upon the stormy deep. He spoke of the supposed cause of himself becoming a minister. When his father was taken away, his mother taught him of our Father in Heave who takes care of us. Mr. Brown finished the discourse with a few touching remarks on the passage, "For of such is the Kingdom of Heaven," in which he spoke of the innocence of little children, and of the last great day when the books shall be opened, and the good and bad separated; the latter sent to miserable woe, "Depart ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his angels," the good received with the welcome applause, "Well done thou good and faithful servant." The holy sacrament was administered. I read only a little in my blessed Bible today, attended to morning and evening devotions. If I love this present evil world, with its vanities and follies and its false pleasure, I pray to God the Father, through our Lord, Jesus Christ, to forgive me and create within me a hungering and thirsting after righteousness and true holiness.
May 22nd Bible Reading and devotions, feeling badly today.
May 23rd bible reading and devotions. Still feeling gloomy. O Lord enlighten my darkened pathway. If an idol has set up his throne in my heart, tear it away, and reign Thyself superior there. If Satan is endeavoring to lead me astray, O Thou blessed compassionate Saviour, who hast been tempted, and who overcome, help me to overcome.
May 24th Warm day, cloudy wit thunder and light rain in afternoon. Bible reading and devotions. Feeling a little better, but my sky is not altogether bright. Come to me dear Saviour, take full possession of my heart, and make happy in Thy love.
May 25th Bible reading and devotions.
May 26th Bible reading and devotion.
May 27th Bible readings and devotions. Beautiful day, but quite war. I have not been as meek and gentle in spirit as I should have been. Help me kind Saviour, to be like Thee, holy in heart and meek in spirit. Help me kind Father, to overcome the world with its afflictions and lusts. Prepare me for tomorrow. Thy holy day, may it be a sweet and happy day unto my soul; a wellspring, a foretaste of an eternal Sabbath in Heaven.
May 28th Raining. Another holy day has come and gone so rapidly are our lives on earth passing away. So rapidly the hour is approaching when we must bid adieu to this vain fleeting world, with its vanities and fleeting joy. O Father in Heaven, assist me in laying up treasures in Heaven where they shall be forever safe, from all danger. Help me to overcome the world, the flesh and the Devil. Help me to conquer my will, lusts, passions and appetites, for I can not do it myself. I am helpless. Read two excellent sermons from "Methodist Pulpit, one Heavenly and earthly reassures contrasted the other "Labor and Rest." We need more unselfish and more energetic spirit in our Master's worship. I hope and pray that God will for Christ's sake, have mercy upon us and visit us this year, with the outpouring of His Holy Spirit. Bible reading and devotions. I felt my heart stirred within me, when I thought how unfruitful my life had been. Gracious Lord, help me to gird on fresh courage and strength to fight in the Christian warfare. May I live for Thee.
May 29th Bible reading and devotion.
May 30th Bible reading and devotions.
May 31st Warm day. Bible reading and devotions.
June 1st Warm day. Bible reading and devotions.
June 2nd bible reading and devotions, fasted until dinner.
June 3rd Hard rain. Bible reading and devotions.
June 4th Hard rain. Read in Bible and Book of sermons. When I read these noble sermons, I feel my deep sinfulness. O for purifying grace. Another Holy day, ,with its privileges and devotions.
June 5th Rain. Reading and devotions.
June 6th Rain. Reading and devotions.
Jun 7th Rain. Reading and devotions. O for more purifying grace, and the blood of Jesus to cleanse my soul from all its guilty stain.
June 8th Cloudy part of day. Reading and devotions.
June 9th Cloudy some. Reading and devotions.
June 10th Rain. Attended preaching, heard a nice sermon by Mr. Brown, from Psalms 2nd in which he spoke of the back slidden state of the church, and how the line of distinction between the church and the world had been, so if we attend a public assembly, we could not by their actions distinguish members of the church. There are those who have their names upon the church book, and not in the Lamb's book of life in Heaven. He spoke of God's removing His Spirit from those communities where His cause is not regarded. He spoke of the fitness of a true Christian for Heaven. Jerusalem here means the Church. In a revival the individual is blessed, his family is blessed, the community in which he lives and generations yet unborn, will be benefited by our present labors. The remedy for this evil is prayer. The Christian who love the church, will pray for it, in private and in public. He must be found often upon his knees. Had class meeting, in which I believe, I was blessed. O blessed Father, may I become tired of all earth's vanities and may it ever be my constant desire to serve Thee. Let me heart be pure, and cleanse me from all public sins, and secret faults. Revive us kind and gracious Father, even this year, may we grow in grace, and see many dear friends converted to Thee. Devotions and reading.
June 11th Raining in afternoon. In forenoon attended preaching, and heard a very good sermon preached by own beloved pastor. I hope and pray the good Lord may make him a useful instrument, in our midst, this year reviving our church and convincing unbelievers. Used text Romans 5Chap. 1 & 2 verses. He said a great deal had been written on the subject of justification, and seemed to place a discredit upon the facts. He proceeded to show the grounds for justification, the means and the subjects. A man may be justified, before being sanctified. The former does not make him pure, but only places him, in regard to the law, as thoug he had never sinned. Justification is pardon for sin, no more, no less. When we truly believe in God, through Jesus, no power could keep us from the blessing. He gave some examples of faith. A child going to an earthly parent, asking for bread, believing that it would receive. If we come to God in child like simplicity, He will give the manna from Heaven, the bread of life. One of Luther's helpmates, being very sick, bordering on death, he prayed earnestly, to God, begging Him to Spare Iconius, for he was necessary to the work, His prayer was answered in the recovery of his companion. A little girls' mother was about to die, and leave her alone. She had heard of the goodness of Jesus, what a large heart He had, and she therefore prayed that He would spare her mother and believed that what she asked would be granted and her payer was answered. All a man's liberality, good worked, benevolence, will no good without faith. We may make a comparison. A man is groping in the dark, where there are deep pits, into one of which he has fallen; he cries for help, when friends hearing him, let down a rope to draw him p, but just as they life the rope, he turns loose and being asked the cause, he says he has something to bring with him, but some keeps falling back. We can not carry anything us, we must leave all behind for Jesus. We spoke of man's condition when he was first created, and then showed that Christ was the only link t bind us to Heaven. The rope has been let down to us, by which, if we grasp it, we shall be drawn up to Heaven. He went on to prove how unhappy a man is when he is at variance with his neighbor, and how much more a sinner, who is not at peace with His God. He spoke of what a blessing peace is wherever enjoyed. I pray God will bless the sermon to the good of all who heard. Bible reading and devotions.
June 14th I had a great trial of my faith today. I pray to the good Lord to enable me to bear without complaint all life's burdens. I am sinful and need more grace. Cleanse me O my Saviour, with Thy precious blood, and I shall be clean.
June 15th Rain with thunder and lightning. How uncertain is life! We make our plans, appoint our way, but how often are they defeated. We are shortsighted creatures, then how vain to trust in ourselves. I saw, at noon, a man twice pass the schoolhouse, apparently in high glee, and good humor, after arriving at home, this evening, heard that he was dead. We should heed the warning voice which calls us to repent and prepare to meet our God. Kind Father, look in tender mercy upon the fallen sons of men and help them to feel. May Thy everlasting arm encircle us tonight and protect us from danger, and may we always trust in Thee and not in ourselves. Glory be to God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, for the victory and peace He gives His children.
June 16th cloudy with thunder. Kept this as a day of fasting, for the benefit of body, mind and soul. May the good Lord sanctify this, and all other means of grace, unto the good of my immortal soul. I have been feeling happy and cheerful today, yet I know there is much in my heart that is not pure, and I pray to the good and kind God to cleanse me wholly with the blood of the His dear Son.
June 18th Rain afternoon. Read in bible. Nursed the sick baby. I love the Holy Sabbath hours, and thank God for them. May I always appreciate and improve them.
June 20th Hard rain, thunder and lightning. Truly God is Omnipotent. I thank Him for His mercy and kind protections. Increase my faith in every time of trouble and a refuge in dangers.
June 24th Attended Masonic celebration at the Lodge. Cloudy with rain the morning. Large attendance. Met with many friends. There was a dance in the hall in the afternoon, in which a few engaged members of the church witnessing. O that the church were purified, by the blood of Christ, then we should be a happier people when professor religion learn their duty. Reading devotions.
June 25th Holy Sabbath, sweet day of rest,
(Pages missing in diary, from June 25 continuation to September 8)
Bible reading and devotions. Read in "Law of God" by Plummer, which book was a present from my dear father. O Father, forgive me when I do not appreciate Thy blessings and my privileges, and help me to do better.
Sept 9th Attended preaching at our church and heard a good sermon by Bro. Brown, from Proverbs XIX C. 23rd v. He spoke of the universal desire of men to prolong their lives upon the earth. The love of life in man is stronger than any other principle. The Scriptures affirm "All that a man hath, will he give for his life." The afflicted and diseased, resort to all known remedies, in order to find a cure and restorer to youth, and vigor, but in the face of all these men still die. Sometimes they are successful but not in every case. The fear of the Lord here does not mean a slavish fear, a dread of something awful, but it means the whole of religion. Religion then lendeth to life. A text parallel with this is "Godliness if profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come." He spoke of the afflictions of the Christian as tending only t good. It is no mark of a Christian to murmur at the Providence of God. Christians should be content in any station, and under all circumstance. They are always from God who speaks thus, "All things work together for good to them that love God." These dark days on earth are only the breathings of better days to come. When the Christian gets to Heaven, he shall see how God brought him home. Religion is not a fitful thing, which passes away, it may abide with us. Those who do not believe that life's trials, tend to good, are in an uncertain state. He spoke o f the true happiness and contentment of a Christian. To them no evil comes. Afflictions, bereavements, troubles, which seen to be evils, are only good to him. "These light afflictions which are but for a moment, shall work out for us, a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." Job, who suffered so extremely, was enabled to say that his Redeemer live. Paul rejoiced in his great sufferings and afflictions.
Sunday, Sept 10th Attended preaching at our church. Heard a good sermon by Bro. Brown from Habakuk 3rd C 2nd v. He spoke of the appropriateness of this text and prayer of the prophet, to the present age and times. Spoke of the necessity of a revival of true religion, in the church, before sinners could be saved. How much depends upon the church. God is willing to hear our prayers, but not when we regard iniquity in our hearts. The prophet was afraid for himself, probably because he had not been as faithful as he should have been, but more expressly was he afraid for his people, who had sinned with a high hand, and outstretched arm. If there is any soul here today, who denies the need of a revival, that soul must be beyond reach of mercy. Me thinks I can hear in the distant future the writings of such souls, turned away from mercy. We do not need a Sunday or spasmodic religion, but true, lasting religion of the Holy Ghost.
Dec. 31st 1879 The last day of the year has passed, the night has been ushered in, and soon the knell of time, shall sound forth the requiem over the grave, of the departed year, which with its joys and sorrows, will be numbered with things of the past; the sad, the happy past, never to be recall, but in memory and dreams. How swiftly time flies; how past beyond control, his movement. Many who were alive last Near Year's morn, to greet the infant year, have been summoned by death to that bourne, whence no traveler returns. Many who were hopeful of joy and prosperity, have met with disappointments, many have seen their best plans thwarts; many have parted with those who were nearest and dearest, and to some the parting was forever. Tonight, while we live and move and have our being, there are others missing, who were wont to meet with us, under the cold, damp sod, their bodies sleep, till time shall be no longer. We live through God's mercy, we enjoy many blessings, many privileges, undeserved, while others, who had the same interest in God's mercy and the same interest in the atonement of Christ, have been swept from time to eternity unprepared and now no mercy, no hope remains for their lost souls. Do we appreciate these truths, solemn, all important truths? Do we feel sufficiently grateful, for all God's goodness to us? Have we made a proper use of our time? Our privileges? Yea, have we made a proper use of our trials, and learned the lessons from Life's daily experiences, which they were designed to teach? As we look back, and review the past, only for one short year, do we not see many mercies, for which we were not grateful; do we not remember many opportunities for doing good which we left unimproved? Have we not delayed many duties? Have we not sinned often in word and thought and deed, and have we not been guilty of burying our talents, and hiding our light under a bushel? Perhaps some resolutions have not been executed, the performance of which would have been beneficial to us and to others. What are our inmost feelings in thus retrospecting? Are we grieved because of unfaithfulness, and are we determined, if our lives are spared, by God's grace, next New Year's Day shall find us wiser, happier and purer, and nearer Heaven than ever before? Or shall it be said o f us the harvest is past, the summer is ended and we are not saved, solemn thought, a lost soul!
Aug. 28th 1880 A long time since I penned any lines for my diary. The experiences of my life since that time have been varied, some very trying and others sweet and comforting. My 30th birthday has passed, and I feel that more than half of my life on earth is gone. I am on the decline of earthly existence. It behooves me, as a mortal, with a body so soon to die, and as an immortal, with a soul to live forever, to use all means for securing the salvation of that soul, bought with a price, even the precious blood of Jesus. I have passed through a severe discipline even this year, my nature is such that I need correction very often. I thank my Heavenly Father that He loves me well enough t afflict me, for my soul's good. May He give me grace to profit thereby. We have had such a glorious meeting, my soul was greatly blessed. I have had my eyes opened to see my utter unworthiness, and to feel my need of a holy heart and pure purposes. I feel that I am growing in grace, I can now d and bear some things for the Master, that I could not have done and borne in the past. Reading my Bible, and religious literature, prayer, praise, and listening to sermons, are sweeter and more refreshing. My soul feels a joy unutterable and full of glory. A peace which passeth all understanding, flows as a river through my soul. Bless the Lord, O my soul. But I am not satisfied, my soul hungers and thirsts for Thy salvation. "I shall be satisfied when I awake with Thy likeness.
A letter to Bro. J.O.A. Cook 1876 or 77
I write from a sense of gratitude, also in hopes of giving some encouragement, to those in our itinerant service. I desire this little missive to be the bearer of joyful tidings from our humble home, to the pleasant fireside of those who have been interested in the spiritual welfare of me and mine, of those whose sacrifice, has been laid upon the altar of the cross, and whose offering no doubt has been accepted. Some invisible presence impressed me with the belief that there was a work at our little church, in our neighborhood, for Bro. Cook to accomplish. I did not believe his firm labors here had consummated that work and I know now that I was not mistaken. This not flattery, it is truth. All the praise be unto Him who sitteth upon the throne, who giveth us the "victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." I asked Bro. Cook last year to come down and help us not knowing there was so much etiquette, even among Methodist preachers. Bro. Cook did not come, and perhaps it was best, as I found out afterwards that Bro. Darsey, our pastor, had selected a classmate of his to assist him, and he did not appear to care for any other. Bro Darsey and Bro Wright did a good work, for that meeting was a blessed one. But ours just passed was the crowning one, yet I believe we reaped at our meeting this year, some of the fruits of last year's labors, for some who were deeply interested then were greatly blessed this time. Paul may plant and Apollos may water, but it is God who giveth the increase, we are only the humble instruments. Truly He leadeth us by a way that we know not, yet let Him do as seemeth Him best, it will all be best in the end, unto those who love and serve Him. Little did I think that Oct. eve in 1867 soon after my arrival at the College, Yula West and I the earliest arrivals among the boarders, she and I sitting the parlor, Bro Cook made his appearance on the front steps and Yula spoke to him, inquired after Mrs. Cook's health, little did I think he would ever be the pastor of some dear ________ in Thomasville, perhaps the instrument in the conversion of some of them. Little did I think, the afternoon when Bro Cook held class meeting in the parlor, with the College girls Yula by my side, in the corner on the sofa, she a mourner, I a doubter, and being questioned about my spiritual condition replying that I had been blessed as greatly as I desired, received for an answer, the first verse of a Psalm, precious to me since then "As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after Thee Oh! God." Little did I think that June evening 1869, after my last lesson had been recited, the examination over, Bro Cook complying the Pa's request, conveyed to me the prize, so pleasant, so unexpected, from my dear father, to his long absent daughter, would ever visit that father's family, and read to them from the Heavenly Father's precious Word. Little did I think that He who presenting me with that sacred volume speaking of an earthly father's love commended the precious treasure, contained there in and reminded me of that father's love, who sent the precious message to dying men. Little did I think, he would be the one, to speak encouraging words to my dear father, thus helping him to take up his cross and erect the family altar. We determined to have family prayer that same Friday night, so after supper, the lamp being lit, and placed on the table, I selected the last chp. Of Ephesians and of course mother went to him, he rose and as he entered the room, bade us wake all the children, as he desired all to hear him his first blunder as he called it.
Letter to a friend, "Solitude" July 4th 1878
Miss Mary K Cromartie
Very Dear Friend
I do not doubt but this letter shall be a surprise, but I hope none the less acceptable. I thought of writing such a one some time since, but did not know whether it would prove for the best, however, I have now determined to do so, in honor to my blessed Master, and with prayer for the Divine blessing, upon this feeble effort made in His name, for the good of a soul. Perhaps you were not aware that some years ago I made choice of three of my favorite friends, near my age, as subjects of special prayer for their salvation, one of them has joined the Baptist, another the Methodist Church and you are the third, and I hope that it will not be a great while before you will decide to come out on the Lord's side and join the church of your choice. I do not say that my prayers brought the other __________ into the church, but I feel thankful, that I had the privilege of praying for the, and it makes me happier, to see them trying to live right, and be useful. I love you, have loved you from a child, haved prayed for you, and have long entertained the hope that you would grow weary of sin, and unsatisfying things of earth, and decide that most important of all questions your soul's eternal happiness. I was so glad to see you taking an interest in the meeting the other day, so glad to see you offer yourself for the prayers of God's people. If we confess Christ before the world, He will also confess us before His Father in Heaven. All of us have sinned, and have come short of the glory of God, all of us need salvation, and all of us must necessarily humble ourselves in the dust, at Jesus feet, and become as little children, before we can ever receive pardon for our sins, and realize the blessings and joys, the peace, the bright hopes, and the sweet promises, which our Divine religion gives to all who embrace it. I enjoyed the meeting so much, the two days that I attended, I am not so selfish as to believe, that I right and all others wrong or to think that I can enjoy religion and be happy no where else but in my own church, as dearly as dearly as I love the church of my choice, and as well satisfied as I have ever been with it. Those two days were sweet day sot my soul. I met with some, who were followers of blessed Master. I could see the signs of religion in the very countenances and actions of some who were present. Every Christian is tugging at the heartstrings of every other Christian. There is a sweet and unutterable joy, felt and understood, by every true disciple of Christ who is a mystery to unconverted person. There is a mysterious light that binds all true Christians closely together, notwithstanding the different opinions entertained in regard to ____________. God know His own, and thought, some times, they are misjudged and condemned; yet if we are faithful and abide in His love, He will clear our way for us, make crooked things straight and procure to Himself honor among men. "The Lord God is our sun and shield, the Lord will give grace and glory, no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly." My sweet religion has been so much comfort and joy, so much help to me in the vale of sorrows, in temptations, in weakness, and while trying climb the rugged mountains of life. Sometimes the clouds have been dark and lowering, but God has always dispersed them with the sunlight of His countenance, and shown me the silver lining, so the sweet light seemed brighter than before, after the cloud had gone. The Christian life is a warfare, but Jesus is our Captain, and with Him at the helm, we need not give over the fight, for He knows what sore temptations mean, and He has promised to give us victory over all our enemies. It is a nice point to be a Christian, religion is a growth in grace and path of the just shineth bright and brighter unto the perfect day. There is a work for us all to do , a mission for each to perform, then let us be up and doing, while it is called today, the night soon cometh when no man can work. Let us go forth in the morning sowing our precious
Vickers, Mary Ann Tabitha Dickey
Andrews Female College
|Lexicon category||8: Communication Artifact|
|Lexicon sub-category||Documentary Artifact|